Ignorance is Blitz: Mangled Moments of History from Actual College Students

Anders Henriksson, chairman of the history department at Shepherd University in West Virginia, has compiled a book of the funniest history ever written. He maintains that all passages in the book are from real student prose collected over 30 years. Some excerpts from "Ignorance Is Blitz: Mangled Moments of History from Actual College Students" (Workman Publishing, $6.95):

"During the Dark Ages, it was mostly Dark."

"The Ancient Greeks founded the Olympics in about 1896."

"Cesar was assassinated on the Yikes of March when he is reported to have said, 'Me too, Brutus!'"

"The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other women because of her immaculate contraption."

"Judyism was the first monolithic religion. It had one big God named 'Yahoo.'"

"Alexander the Great conquered Persia, Egypt, and Japan. Sadly, he died with no hairs."

"Fryers were required to take a vow of pottery."

"Without the discovery of the flying buttock it would have been an impossible job to built the Gothic cathedral."

"The major cause of the Civil War was when slavery spread its ugly testicles across the West."

"Germany's William II had a chimp on his shoulder."

"President of England at this time was Nebble Chamberman, who appeared in videos as a man with a boulder hat."

"Stalin, Roosevelt, Churchill, and Truman were known as the 'Big Three.'"

"Martin Luther Junior achieved fame for his 'If I Had a Hammer' speech."

"Children born to Europeans and Asians were known as Euthanasians, a situation that troubled them for life."

"Religion was polyphonic. Featured were gods such as Herod, Mars and Juice. Persepolis was god of vegetables. Souls were believed to spend the "here, there and after" in Ethiopia."

"Ferdinand and Isabella conquered Granola."